Monday, March 9th, 2009...12:28 pm

A New Bitch at my House

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AKA Oops! I posted again! I’m thinking I might be able to handle posting once a week.  Maybe.  But, I’m not making any promises.  I swear I sound like I’m at a Shopaholics Anon meeting and am trying to convince my group that while I did in fact get the 25% off coupon at Coach (did you?), I won’t be using it.  I don’t even believe it myself.

I haven’t mentioned it yet, but we got a new dog.  A Scottie - which, I know! I know! goes with AFF like diets go to Oprah - from none other than Rocking Pony. Karen put our little Fiona (Puppy claimed naming rights for agreeing to basically end life as she knew it for Lanna) MacKenzie (I got that one) in a crate and flew her down to us.  That was a fiasco in and of itself, especially since Puppy went out of town and both Knute & I got sinus infections.  Know what?  Having a puppy is like having a newborn high on crack (and I’m never checking stats again after that one!) who doesn’t get the joy of wearing a diaper.  It’s just a newborn who rubs her diarrhea butt on your carpet and pees on your freshly made bed.

After the initial “HOLY HELL IN A HANDBASKET!! What was I thinking?” I think (perhaps?) we’re doing better.  She-who-loves-to-chew is currently munching productively on a rawhide while alternately growling at birds who dare to chirp in her backyard.  She-who-hated-her-little-brother-and-now-hates-me-too is sulking under the bed.  Caesar?  Can bite my giant butt, because Lanna is seriously depressed & I swear she is exhibiting people emotions -despite what he says.  Lanna needs me to chop up my xanex and give it to her in her food, because girl is not happy I brought another small slobbery thing into her pack.

Fiona arrived and has displayed one heckuva personality!  I have never heard of a dog who deliberately chooses to poop while standing on her two hind legs, but Fi?  Has done this four times so far, and I cannot help but laugh hysterically at her while she props herself up in what you actually get to call doggy style and out drops poop.  In addition to her proclivity for odd bowel movements, the dog is the biggest scaredy cat.  She’s terrified of our now mowed grass.  The tallish weeds that she’d become accustomed to?  Preferable to freshly cut lawn.  Shoot me.  Just shoot me.    I’m too old for this.

And, there are pictures, but I got a new lappy (Debbie) and haven’t figured out how to upload them yet.

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Filed under 3 Ring Circus, Don't Mess with the Bitch, i love my bitchy dog

51 Comments

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